![“The first thing I would make would be an enormous, impossibly strong longbow and set of arrows which could only be drawn by Chris Pratt. Then while I was making the rest of the gifts, he would bring me fresh venison and elk that he would slay with the weapons I had made him. I would make Amy [Poehler] the most charismatic piece of furniture I could come up with. [It] would be a coffee table of glory, or a headboard of infamy.” What might a headboard of infamy look like? “It would probably be spalted maple from an enormous slab of an enormous tree, and probably have some antlers incorporated into it. And perhaps some wood-burned Latin characters spelling out ‘Champion of the Earth.’”
- Nick Offerman on what he would craft for his “Pawnee Family”](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2d67d7UqS1qzo054o1_250.jpg)
“The first thing I would make would be an enormous, impossibly strong longbow and set of arrows which could only be drawn by Chris Pratt. Then while I was making the rest of the gifts, he would bring me fresh venison and elk that he would slay with the weapons I had made him. I would make Amy [Poehler] the most charismatic piece of furniture I could come up with. [It] would be a coffee table of glory, or a headboard of infamy.” What might a headboard of infamy look like? “It would probably be spalted maple from an enormous slab of an enormous tree, and probably have some antlers incorporated into it. And perhaps some wood-burned Latin characters spelling out ‘Champion of the Earth.’”
- Nick Offerman on what he would craft for his “Pawnee Family”
